Not My Words

Advice.
Many of us are more than ready to give it when somebody comes to us with some sort of need.
Whether they are asking for it or not. Instead of listening to them carefully, we are already thinking how WE are going to solve their problem and guide them through life.

Most of the time it is done with good intentions. We hate to see somebody suffer or be frustrated not knowing what to do. We want to help.
Then, what is the problem? WE.
Many times the word WE refer to good things such as team work, relationship, sharing, etc.
In this case it isn't precisely good. It refers to "I alone".

When somebody opens their soul to you and shares what is in their heart, you are stepping on holy ground.
They are uncovering themselves, being vulnerable. Acting by impulse can cause more hurt than healing. Being slow to speak isn't only wise, but also shows appreciation and respect for opening up their lives to you.
Our most common mistakes are: not listening to them wholeheartedly, and not listening to the One who can truly give perfect "advice". If we respond to other's needs out of our own thought process, without the Holy Spirit helping us, our words will be like a leaf in the fall. Pretty, but dead. Unable to hold on to the tree of life.
It is absolutely necessary and essential to listen to the person in need... and the person of the Holy Spirit to give you the words (if any is needed) to respond.

I must confess that many times I just jump in and start babbling. Yes, that is what it is when it is not guided by God. Then in the middle of my own show, I am reminded that it is not my words what this person needs. It is God's. He is the one who will cause the streams of living water to flow through me. (John 7:38-39). Yet, how will this happen if I don't first ask Him to?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" {or her!}James 1:5

I encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to minister through you, to speak through you and love through you. To teach you and give you the words, if words are needed. Ask Him to shine through you and make you a channel of God's love, joy, comfort and peace so you can bless others. I encourage you to seek to be in God's presence always, so that it is HE who we see through you.

Lets make the word WE refer to God, in the person of the Holy Spirit, and you together in prayer.

Busy Being Available

Available: Present and ready for use; at hand, accessible. (freedictionary.com)

One of the phrases most of us hear/say at least once a day is: I don't have time.
Whether it is "I don't have time to make the bed", "I don't have time to make dessert" or even, "I don't have time to listen to another political ad". Whatever the reason, we always seem to run out of time for something.
We are so afraid of being tagged as lazy or unproductive that we fill our schedule to the 25th hour.

How does this affect our ministry? do we have time to sit down with a friend and chat...without looking at the clock? can we have two cups of tea instead of just one? or even more so, in the midst of your day, if someone calls expectantly, do you have a few minutes to spare in a conversation about nothing important?

I know, we all have things to do, projects to finish, kids to care for, husbands to attend to, we all have a life to live. But this life of ours has become a race instead of a walk. A competition instead of something to enjoy. We may get things done, but are we enjoying them? are we able to fully invest our lives in things that matter? or has our life become a check list where we check off what we got done, is if everything was as simple as grocery shopping?

Real meaningful relationships are not built with a check list lifestyle. All good things in life demand that we invest our time, sometimes our money, but more than anything: our lives. To drop what we are doing to help a neighbor move some boxes, to stop the movie to talk to our friend on the phone, etc. It all shows availability. Always ready "to be there" for others. At hand.

Real meaningful relationships are also built with initiative. Many a strong relationship is a two way road. However, not everyone is a social bug or ready to ask for help when needed. To be available is to be present, yet how will they know we are there if we don't let them know? With today's technology, there is no excuse. No time for a call? a simple text will do. Not a text-er? a one sentence letter, a call, a quick stop by, or even a prayer for them will do sometimes.

Jesus is the greatest example of availability and initiative. If we have a relationship with Him is because he came to us. He makes himself available to us every day. He made himself available to the cross!!
He is always ready to listen to us, to comfort us, to encourage us, to love us. He is never too busy for us.
Even though He is divine :

"Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness" {Phil. 2:6-7}

His availability didn't come with heavy feet and a frown. His love for us was the motivation. He joyfully makes himself available to us at all times. Even for our most insignificant need. His ears are always glad to hear our voice calling His name. Nothing is too insignificant or unimportant for Him. 

In the same way, we are called to care for others. For each other. Being available and taking initiative to show our availability witnesses of the love God has poured on in us. Our availability will open doors to new friendships, new opportunities to share the gospel with words or simply with our actions. Even to blessings in our lives. God calls us to always be ready and present, always available to do the works of His Kingdom. Are you ready  to answer to His call? Will you be available for others? ...or are you too busy?

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" {Isaiah 6:8}

F.

Baby Steps, Giant Steps.

Amelia is two months old (10 weeks to be exact).
Time truly flies! I feel like we have had her forever. I love it!
Motherhood is great! I love every minute of it...although it can get a little boring at times, specially for a stay at home mom like me. Yet, I enjoy every minute with my little girl.

God has been speaking to me in so many ways lately. And one of them is that every one o his children are different. I have learned that a "baby step" for one person may be a "giant step" for another, and vice versa. I bring this up because many women told me (and keep telling me!) that having a baby-tot-child in general, is so hard and time consuming. That my life will never be the same (as if that was something bad!), and that I will no longer be able to do the things I used to because I will live by baby's schedule.
Not true.
Not for me. At least not so far.


I appreciate every piece of advice (asked and not asked for!), as well as every warning of the complications of life that await me. I truly listen and store them in my heart for future reference, and to prepare my heart so I'm not taken by surprise. However, I see that this is just a "baby step" for me.

I'm not saying it is not easy. I do not mean it is not time consuming. I do not mean to take away from the hard work of mothers, or to diminish their efforts and time invested in their children. I am doing it too. In fact, that'll be my job for the rest of my life!
It IS time consuming, hard, and challenging. But I guess sometimes we tend to state things as facts that apply the same for everyone. Sometimes I feel like everyone makes things look/sound worse than they really are just so that everyone around them stands in awe and applauds them.
I keep hearing: "Oh, you just wait until she is born...Oh you just wait until she starts walking...Oh you just wait until you have another one running around...Oh you just wait for this or for that...Oh you just wait! It sounds like they want me be overwhelmed, stressed, tired, margin-less like they were. It makes me sad sometimes. Can't people just be happy for me and rejoice in the Lord for I am relaxed!

I know not everyone is like that though. Some people truly struggle. Some people mean well, they just don't know how to communicate it.Again, God created us all different, with different skills, personalities, etc. Not every jar of clay can contain the same amount of water. If you pour 2 gallons of water in a 1 gallon container, it will overflow. We all reach our limits at different points and that is just fine.

The same goes for me, when I criticize others, I must remind myself that God created us different. Some people reach their limits faster! Some work better under pressure, some can't work at all under the same amount of pressure. What is a giant step for me, may be a baby step for others.

I guess I should just say I praise God for making this step in my life easier than I thought (or was told) it would be.

For those who don't know, my life has changed (giant steps!) a ton in the last three years:

I left my family, friends, and everything I knew when I left my country and moved to the US. After 4 years of graduating from high school and already working, I went back to school...in a language that wasn't my native, in a system that I had never known. For the first time in my life (at 21 years old), I lived by myself (no parents!) and had to learn to drive. A year later, I got married. A year after moved again to a different city and, finally... had a child. I gotta say, I've had my share of giant steps for a while. Excuse me if I rather brag about a baby step! Finally!!
That is that I am taking this step without my family close by. My husbands side of the family are wonderful and I consider them very much my family - not only "in laws". But they live almost 2 hours away, have their own families and jobs...and to be honest, sometimes it is just not the same as having your own mom and sisters with you.  So please! rejoice in and praise the Lord with me on this!! For you it may have been (or is) the most overwhelming, time-consuming, challenging and hard thing to do to have a child (or more!), but please be glad that God is helping me have some margin so that having Amelia doesn't leave me exhausted.

Comments, questions, advice and constructive criticism are welcomed!

My reward from the Lord.

It's Monday, July 23rd. at 5am and I have started feeling some contractions. They are somewhere between 15 to 5 minutes apart. I can still talk, walk and pretty much do everything around the house. As the day goes by, Jon and I start getting anxious. The pain and intensity is a 4 out of 10. So we just wait.

Jon goes to work, I get the house ready in case we have to leave to the hospital.

It's 4pm of Monday 23rd, our cousins Bryan and Samantha arrive. She is my duola. We start talking about what to expect and the birth plan. {Birth plan was about being all natural, no drugs, no inductions  of any kind, including braking the water. Also leaving as soon as possible and keeping the baby with us at all times}

So the night came and we are still at home. Contractions are getting a little stronger (a 5 out of 10 maybe) and a little closer together. Approximately every 10 minutes.

It's Tuesday, July 24th at 5am again. Contractions are kicking in with a pain rate of 6 out of 10. They came anywhere from 10 to 5 minutes apart. We all are getting more and more excited. I try to keep moving, however at about 11am we realize that they are stronger when I am laying down. So I proceed to stay that way to get things going.

It is about noon of the 24th and we call the hospital to ask when it would be best for us to come. We are told that once contractions are 5 apart and I am unable to speak because of the pain. So we wait and withing an hour my contractions get between 5 to 3 minutes apart and I can hardly speak...but we wait an extra hour to be sure.

2pm of Tuesday the 24th and we head over the hospital with contractions every 3 minutes with a pain rate of 7 out of 10. To all this, it was back labor as opposed to front labor.

We get to the hospital around 2:30 and we get situated in the delivery room. The nurse comes to check on me and check how far along I am with dialation...

...to our dissapointment I am only 2cm dialated...
...They give us a couple of hours to see if I will progress.

It is around 6pm of the 24th and the Dr. on call, Dr. Chadd (they only have two doctors, so I new Him too) arrives and checks to see if I have progressed at all.

...Nothing...dissapointing. Now what?
The doctor gives the options: "we break your water and hope that speeds things up (although I know in your plan you said you did not want that), or you go home and wait some more. It's up to you."

"I have been having contractions for two days already, break my water -I don't want to go home, I want to meet my baby" So they do so around 6:30pm of the 24th.

Around 7 family starts arriving. Jon's parents and his sister and brother in law. I have my family on skype watching the whole process.

The night falls and everyone starts getting comfortable for a long night...but no baby yet. The nurses come and check me...I have only progressed to 4cm after four hours of increased contractions. They come every 2 minutes and the pain has gone up to an 8 out of 10.

It is the early morning of Wednesday, July 25th and everyone is falling asleep. Jon and I are awake dealing with pain and no dialating as I should. We go for a walk, I use the birth ball, my duola encourages me and guides me through contractions to continue breathing deep. It is for sure the longest night of my life.
The pain is now a 10 out of 10 with back labor and contractions every 2 minutes.

It is around 6am of the 25th and my father in law has to go back to work.

My doctor comes in around 7 and I am only 6cm dialated. We start talking about our options since I am having a "dry labor" and I am not progressing as desired. The main thing we want to avoid is a C-section. So baby needs to be out before we reach the 24th hour after breaking the water. My options are to continue all natural, walking, using the birthball and waiting - with increased risk of C-section as time goes by. Or I could get pitocin and get things going without epidural, but with a lot more pain, or finally, get both pictocin and epidural and forget about going all natural but getting the baby out on time and get this over with.

Jon and I decided we would wait a few more hours and see if I can get things going on my own. By this time, I have not slept at all in more than 24 hours being in active labor, with, towards the early morning, pain of 11 out of 10.

It is around 10am, my contractions are slowing down, getting farther apart and my sister in law and her husband need to head out. She works at 1pm and they need to drive for almost 2 hours.

My doctor comes in around 11 and we talked about our options again. Same thing, pitocin (and epidural if I want it). At this point I can hardly talk, I am too tired and while talking, contractions kick in again for a little bit. We are approaching critical hours, and the night before while in the tub, some meconium had shown in the water. Also the doctor had found out the baby was facing up and was not coming out and we would need to use either a vacuum or the forceps. That is why I am not dialating as expected. Baby is not putting any pressure on my cervix. The head is not in the right position. Despite all the efforts to help baby change positions on its own, nothing is going as desired.

Now it is not about playing "strong woman" or "mama natural". It is about what is best for both my baby and I. So my amazing husband encourages me to take the pitocin. The doctor offered to start with 1mlg of pitocin alone (2milg is the usually the minimun amount they give) and see if I can get it going on my own with that. So we go ahead with that and wait an hour.

It is 11 am and nothing yet. But Oh boy! that 1milg really has made a difference in pain!! it is a 12 out of 10 now!

So Jon and I talk about our options again. My wonderful husband is very loving and encouraging. He tells me "noone will think any less of you for getting the drugs. You are very strong and have gone over 30 hours of natural labor. Now you need to be able to rest to get this baby out. I love you" Or something among those lines :) So I decide to get it all.

It is around noon and our cousins (my duola) have to leave. They live in St. Louis and have to work the next day. AND NO BABY YET! :( and I am only 7cm along. VERY dissapointing for the amount of pain I am feeling. However, pitocin is in now and the nurse anesthetist is coming. I wish he was coming faster though! that pitocin really kicks in quickly!! I don't know if I can take it any longer. It really hurts and contractions are back every 1 to 2 minutes with a pain 15 out of 10! maybe less than that, but I am just too tired :P

So 12:30 is the magic time. The epidural is in and I don't feel a thing. It is as if I had not been in labor at all. I can finally laugh, talk, eat and sleep! and so can my poor husband!

I take a 3 to 4 hour nap. When I wake up my nurse comes in and we are finally at 10cm!!!! woo hoo! So pushing time arrives around 5pm. My mother in law is recording and taking pictures. My mom, siblings and rest of the family is watching everything through skype. They make fun of me because I am not screaming or complaning (in Peru is not usual to use epidurals unless it is a C-section). So My nurse, Jon and I play a joke on them. She brings a baby doll and we pretend that I am finally giving birth. My family bought it! they thought my screams were real and that the doll was the real baby! :P. Sounds mean, but they deserved it for bugging me about not showing pain! after that, they were only expectators and encouragers! :)

Anyways, it if around 7 my doc comes in and starts setting things  up for us. I had already been pushing for two hours. He usually only allows two hours of pushing before going C-section, but he knew we did not want that and allowed me to go for an extra hour. Forceps in place, baby's heart rate looks great, mommy's looks fine. Lets get the baby out! and PUSH!!! PUSH!! PUSH!! Oh my! it is time!! ...head is out!! surprise! surprise! cord is around baby's neck, not once but twice!! Praise the Lord that baby was in a bad position and not coming out on its own, otherwise the tention would have cause distress and led to a sectioning, risking my baby's life. Baby was in the birth canal only for a few minutes (if that!) thanks to the use of forceps and the decisions made by all of us, including the doctor.

A few seconds later (8:15pm) baby is all out and is a SHE!! Oh my heart is filled with joy and I am just bawling!! God new our hearts' desire and gave us a little girl! We could't be happier!

Amazingly enough, as soon as I saw her, I forgot all about the pain. I am ready to have more of these wonderful little people!! She was SO worth it!! all the 9months of my body changing, uncomfortable nights of sleep, painful labor, and even now that she is almost a month old, all the sleepless nights and the recovery process. It is all worth it!! Every time I look at her, I am reminded of God's love and favor! She is truly a reward from the Lord. One I do not deserve, but gladly accept!!

Amelia Marie Slezak

a week old.

Very strong at 2 weeks!!

She loves daddy!

 And mommy is happy to say that she has already lost 30lbs!! 15 more to go but it's looking good!!!! :)
Thanks to everyone who prayed for us!! we really felt the prayers!! :D