A Heart Captured by God ~ "The Heart of the Matter"

What do your words reveal about your heart?

"As a face is reflected in water, so the heart reflects the person." Proverbs 27:19

Our heart (tangible) not only sustains our body. Our heart (intangible) also performes the fuctions of: feelings, desires or longing, relating to others, relating to God, choosing, sinning, showingnour character and thinkng. (Laura Wilcox, "Capture my Heart, Lord", p.5)

With that in mind, God has left us well equiped with His word (and the Holy Spirit) to understad the different attitudes a heart that is captured by Him should have...and the ones that should not. As you read these verses, think of what attitudes (functions) of the heart are implied. Meditate on that.

"But from there you will seek the Lord your God, and you will find Him if you search for Him with all your heart and all your soul" Deuteronomy 9:4

"Do not say in your heart when the Lord your God has driven them out before you "Because of my own righteousness the Lord has brought me in to possess the Land," but it is because of the wickedness of these nations that the Lord is dispossessing them before you." Deuteronomy 9:4

"Now, therefore, put away the foreign gods which are in your midst, and incline your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel" Joshua 24:23

"The fool has said in his heart, "there is no God." They are corrupt, they have committed abominable deeds; There is no one who does good." Psalmn14:1

"When you said, "Seek My face," my heart said to yoi, "Your face, O Lord, I shall seek." Psalm 27:8

"The wise of heart will receive commands, But the babbling fool will be ruined." Proverbs 10:8

"Who can say, 'I have cleansed my heart, I am pure from sin'?" Proverbs 20:9

"The heart is more deceitful above all else qnd is desperateky sick; Who can undstand it?"      Jeremiah 17:9

"(Jesus speaking) But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man. For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witnesses, slanders." Matthew 15:18-19

"Now flee from youthful lust and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22

The more we seek the Lord, the more we allow the Holy Spirit to transform our hearts. A heart that knows its creator is very much blessed...

"After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: 'Do not be afraid, Abram. I am your shield, your very great reward.'" Genesis 15:1

"For the eyes of the Lord range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him. (...)" 2 Chronicles 16:9

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds" Psalm 147:3

"(Jesus speaking) Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." Matthew 11:29

God wants to work in your heart. In order to do so, you need to give yourself fully to the Lord. 

How are you expressing your surrender to God's work in your heart? How are you avoiding it?

"Pursuing wholeness and healing of the heart begins when we comform to God's definition of the changed heart and follow His passion for our hearts." (Laura Wilcox, "Capture My Heart, Lord", p.13)

Capture my Heart, Lord (series)

Hello dear ones,

This last year I have had the priviledge to co-lead one of the small groups of our women's ministry at our local church. It has been a blessing. The ladies in my group are just a blessing beyond imagination.

However, our study is coming to an end. {tear}. This year we studied the book "Capture my Heart, Lord" by Laura Wilcox. It was great. She really helped us see (and understand) God's word from a deeper perspective.

So, since I have been so blessed by this study, I only find it fitting to share some of it with all of you. Tis will also help me not forget what I just studied!

What I will do is only share some of the Bible passages that she used to help us learn about a specific quality of the heart that is captured by God. Hopefully this way I will not inccur in copyright violations.

To start off then the series will be called "A heart captured by God". So look out for a new post on how to allow the Lord to completely capture your heart!

Have a blessed day!

Unplanned project!

Does it hapen to you that, you think of a project. Go out and buy the materials. Get home, get started and...not enough! Not even close!

One solution is to go back out and get more or a different material. Sounds good to me. However, I was not in the mood to continue with that same project. But I did not want my money (just a dollar! Hehe) to be wasted. I needed a new idea for my clothes hanging rope. It was pretty enough to use it for other than hanging clothesm from it.

Well, yesterday and today I have been in the crafting mood. Out of the blue, it hit me and I have been working on small projects.

Then, we had beans for dinner. {say what? Where did that come from?!...just read on, will you?} I didn't have enough home made beans (I make big batches from scratch and freeze them :)) so I decided to add some of my back up canned beans.

*************OOOOOOOOOh*************

{supposed to be the angels background sound}

I new I could find some use to the empty can, and I did!

Wrap the rope around it and...tah dah! New storage! :)
Pretty simple. All you need is the dollar store rope, empty (and clean!) can, some hot glue, and patience and time to wrap and wrap...and wrap.

Here are the pictures:

What pretty projects have you worked on lately? 

Happy crafting!

F.

She keeps growing!

Hello dear ones!

It's been a while since you saw/heard from Amelia. I thought you would like a little update!

Time is really flying! My little bundle of joy is now 8 month and crawling her tiny legs away! She started by doing it "push-up" style and then moved on to the "normal" arms and legs. She learns quick! It only took her a week to figure it all out. Of course mommy's hands off most of the time helped!

Here is quick video:

So funny! And here is a week later:

After she got down the crawling, she started pulling herself up. That is all she wants to do now. She crawls to the couch, the chairs, coffee table or anyone close by and helps herself up. Needles to say, we are very happy and proud. However, not surprised. We are trying to have high (within a healthy range) expectations. Or better said, trying not to have too low expectations of our kids. Children are smart and learn quick, if only given the chance to show it. 

Anyways. We will be moving back to SP, closer to our family (an our and half from where we are now) in just 6 weeks! I am super excited. Amelia will have lots of friends to hang out with and a few cousins to bond with! :). I will too have the chance to deepen some relationships (I hope!). 

Back to Amelia, a recap of the last three months: 

She went on her first plane ride to Peru in January. It went well. I'd recommend traveling during their bed time if possible. That way they sleep all the way, just like she did on the way back to the U.S.A. 

She started babbling and giggling more. Her "words" sound like "dada" but she could be talking to the cats or her socks...we don't think it's meant for DH yet. (I hope she says mom first! But we'll see!...oh young mom! Don't know how things happen! Haha).

She was dedicated to the Lord the Sunday before Easter! We are so thankful to God for entrusting us with her precious life. However, we will need his guidance and strength, as well as wisdom to raise her! We will also need of our church family for support, advice, counsel, encouragement ...and babysitters!! :). All the family was able to come. That was real special!

Anyways, too much blah blah, here are some more pictures!!

She adapted so quickly to Peru and loved being held by all the Peruvian ladies!

Christmas pictures by Gale Schoenecke (our aunt) at my in-laws backyard.

Meeting great grandpa Matherly for the first time...and teaching him about computers...

I can't wait to have more of these wonderful little people!! I love you Amelia! never forget that! (and so does your papa!)

Baby Wipes

I know there are tons of tutorials out there for baby wipes. I have no idea who the original author is but here is my share. I got the recipe from our cousin. It was part of her baby shower gift to me. I LOVE them! They are fairly easy to make. The only "hard" part is the cutting of the paper towel roll in half. But is totally worth it. You can get the paper towel from the dollar store, or (as I prefer) the giant Bounty which is surprisingly cheap. This one has 210 two-ply sheets as opposed to the 140 two-ply from the dollar store...which is way thinner and breaks easier than the Bounty. You can use that one for household shores better.

What I love about this homemade wipes is that they are multipurpose. Not only as baby booty wipes, but the formula is the same as for make up remover. You can also use them when you baby gets dirty hands or face. That is three things you don't need to buy anymore. You can make them yourself for cheaper!

Anyways, here is what you will need:

- A roll of paper towel (this will give you two batches)
- Baby oil
- Baby shampoo
- Water
- Plastic container

Directions:

-First, cut the roll in half with a bread knife. This will be a little messy, but oh well. Make sure you take out the cardboard in the middle, otherwise it will absorb more of your liquid mix.
-Then, in your container mix 2 cups of water, 2 tbsp of the oil and 2 tbsp of the shampoo (3 of each if you use the huge Bounty). Mix well.
-Now place the half roll with the fluffy side up. Close the container and wait until the liquid is absorb half way up the roll.
-Open the container and take out the roll, carefully flip it with the nice side up. Close and let the paper absorb all the liquid. This should take no more than a minute or two.

Close well and store in dark area.(I place a big burp cloth on top and keep it out handy!)
It can last up to 6 months without opening at all. So if you are pregnant now at around 3 to 4 months, you can start making some now and they should be good to use when the baby comes! :)

Enjoy!

Frugal Life

Ever since I married Jon I became more and more aware of how much money I spent. How much money I wasted I should say. If there is one thing I love about my husband is his great financial leadership. Especially during this time in our lives when disposable income is nowhere to be found!

We have come to the conclusion that "I want" is not the same as "I need". Most people mix those two. Because if we wouldn't have seen those cute shoes in the catalog we wouldn't need them! Am I right?
Well, I hope you caught the sarcasm.

Now, seriously, the truth is we do NOT need most things that we buy. We can either go without (long or short term) or we can come up with a cheaper way to get things done. For example: I can either go to the spa and have my nails done for $25-35, or I can have some friends over and do each others nails for free! Maybe not be perfect, but it will be pretty darn close! Plus we get to hang out with people we love and know! Another example: summer is coming and you "need" a new skirt for the beach. You can either buy one at Anthropology or re-purpose an old t-shirt by adding a thick elastic, just like the thousands of ideas show on Pinterest.

The point is, if you are complaining about "not having enough money", stop and think where it is that you are spending too much, or any at all. What I have found is that if I can go one more week without _______, usually I really don't NEED it. And if I do, I either save money for it (NEVER use credit cards) or try to figure out a way to get it in a cheaper way.

Anyways, so much blah blah blah. Here are a few things that work for us/we don't mind going without/I do:

1. Make your own baby wipes.
2. Use vinegar, dish soap and baking soda for most cleaning needs.
3. We do not have cable TV. We have internet and watch one show a day.
4. Eat a lot of left overs. {I hate to throw away food!}
5. We only eat out for Valentines and Anniversary. {unless it's a special occasion besides romantic ones}
6. Make your own baby food. It's easy, healthy and last a lot longer!
7. Set thermostat on 65 and bundle up! {only the baby's room is at 70. WI is cold!}
8. Go grocery shopping only once {or twice occasionally} a month. This will force you to be a smart shopper so you don't have to go out again.
9. Take the bus when possible. We only have one car and husband rides the bus to school.
10.Make the whole 12 cups of coffee that your coffee maker allows you to. Making small amounts may cause you to use more coffee grains than you would otherwise. You can always reheat the left over and have it later.
11.Freezer meals!! A lot of work in one day, but saves you time and money later on!
12.Really, you don't need more than two swimsuits...especially if you live in the northern part of the country where winter lasts almost 6 months or you do not swim very often. So stop buying them!
13.However, when you do buy one, buy quality! (This applies to most things). Break things down to cost per use and you will notice your real savings in the long run.
14.Learn to sew. Seriously. For basic stuff, it is not that complicated. And you get to design things the way you want them!
15.Buy at garage sells, consignment stores and be open to hand-me-downs! Quality can be found this way too! many people like to get rid of perfectly good stuff.
16. Do dishes by hand. But if you use the dishwasher, wait until it's a full load.
17. Learn to knit. You could make your own washcloths out of old tees or leftover yarn.
18. Grow your own garden (indoor and outdoors)
19. I do my nails. Always. Only time I go to a spa is when I receive a Christmas gift for it!

Seriously, I could go on and on. Many of the things listed will save you money in more than one way. Just click on the links for a more detailed explanation of how to's, tutorials, and other saving tips.

How do you live the frugal life?
Please share with us what you have found helpful!

Cleaning simplified

To create a home, we use furniture, appliances, accessories (like pictures), toys, blankets and such. In other words, we must invest time and effort to turn a building into a home. Personalize it.
I consider myself a very clean and organized person. I do not seek to have a sterile house, but just a very clean, organized and inviting one. A place to live and also relax. A house that can be a home.

One aspect of creating a home that many ignore is: cleaning. Wait, what?! How does cleaning fit in all this? Well, a messy and dirty place is usually called a dump. Not a home. So yes! Cleaning and organizing is to some extend needed to create a home sweet home.

But how many people simply dread cleaning their house? Many! I'm one of them. It takes time, it can be nasty, makes you sweat and...just the thought of mixed smells! I mean, all the different products that we use! They may smell good separately, but sometimes it is just too much when used all at once. 

The solution? Cut back on all the different products you use. 

Many of the products we buy are wonderful and very effective. However, when you are on a budget...or have a sensitive nose like I do, buying the best known brand out there is not a wise option.  One way to save is buying store brand as opposed to name brands. Another cheaper and easier solutions is the well known cooking products: vinegar and baking soda. These two combined with some dish soap can pretty much clean EVERYTHING in your home. 

Here are 50 ways to use vinegar taken from babycenter.com 

What I do is, I keep a spray bottle of vinegar and dish soap under the bathroom sink. I use it to clean the sink, counter space, and even around the toilet seat. (The inside of the toilet is the only place where I use some disinfectant store bought product, can't help but is the only place I need to use something strong for peace of mind!!). I also keep a piece of cloth that I only use for the sink/counter top/mirror and another one only for the toilet. It is something little ones can use to clean and you don't have to freak out about it being toxic.

I also keep a dish wand/scrubber in the shower. This way every time I shower I can clean the shower, and again don't be worried about all the chemicals soaking my feet!

Using vinegar to clean the house simplifies my life in many ways: I don't need to break the piggy bank. It saves on storage space being one big (or in my case two) one gallon containers as opposed to 5 different ones. I can store it in my pantry and have free space under the sink! And I use it for more than on chore, cleaning and cooking!

What are some ways in which you simplify cleaning (and living!)?
What other uses do you have for Vinegar?
Please share with us!

Gardening?

Ever since Pinterest came out I have been a faithful member and pinner. I love how I can share ideas and learn from others. It has been a life saver many times. Whether for cooking, last minute gifts, organizing, parenthood. You name it. It can be found on Pinterest.

Today I will share one of the many things I have tried.
Growing green onions. Indoors. As quick as in a week's time.
I know, crazy awesome. Forget about buying again. Well, maybe you will buy again, but this will cut the times you do in half maybe. SO, it will save you 50% of time and money spend in green onion shopping.

So what you do is the following:

Next time you need to use green onions save some buds. Somewhere between 2 and 3 inches long. Place them in a cup/container with some water. You can tie them with some elastic to keep them nice and straight. Finally, watch them grow.

Yes, that simple.

You may need to add some more water as days go by, but other than some light (and sun if possible, but not terribly necessary) that is all you will need to do with it. You can have them in your kitchen's window. Or wherever they will get natural light exposure. I grew them in the winter, so do not worry about direct sunlight. They will still grow if they don't get any.

Here are the pictures of before and after :)

this was just two to three days after I put them in water!

Sorry the picture is not the greatest. I think I deleted the good one by mistake! This was the final product after a week or so.

Coming Back!

Hello dear ones!

It's been forever since I last was here! Among the reasons are the fact that my computer died on me! It will simply not turn on anymore. No idea why and no money to repair! My wonderful father in law, therefor, gave me a mini Ipad for Christmas. I love it but it is not the easies thing to type on. At least not for me. Plus, I'm not techy at all and it takes me a while to figure it out.

Anyways, I will do my best to get back on blogging.

For the meantime, a little update.
Amelia is a little over 6 months now. Rolling over from tummy to back, sitting up straight (although she can sit up on her own yet), baby talking a lot more, and starting on solids. It's been so much fun to be a mom! I can't wait to have more! It is not easy by any means, but it's not that bad either! You adjust and learn. Definitely a new way to understand God's character as our heavenly Father. My goodness He is good to us!

Christmas at the in laws was great! As expected :). Lots of love, food and gifts. It was nice to be home and have people to hang out with and talk to! It was also nice to have my husband back and away from the books!

My family was not able to come to the US to visit, so God opened a door for me and Amelia to go there! We surprised my mom. She almost flipped out! We went with the mission team from our church in SP. it was crazy  busy and super tiring but totally worth it. The Lord moved in amazing ways and was very gracious to us. Specially to me! Amelia didn't get sick at all, she loved everyone (and everyone loved her!) my parents got to meet their first granddaughter, lots of Peruvians received medical help and Christ as their Savior, and God kept us all save the whole week! Oh, and she slept all the way back!!! :)

I am still part of the women's Bible study at our church here in Madison. Now I help co-lead it with my wonderful new friend Laura. She is the best! Our small group is awesome too. A mix of personalities, which makes it interesting, but everyone gets along pretty well.

We are enjoying our last few months in the area. We'll move back to Stevens Point in the middle of May. I'm really looking forward to that for a few reasons: we'll be closer to family and friends, I'm going back to school part time, we'll live in a house not an apartment, and it will be summer!!! :) the later is exciting because we will live in front of the WI river and I will be able to teach Amelia how to swim from a very early age! I can't wait!

Well, this is it for now. Feel free to leave a comment...or not! :)

Since I don't know yet how to post pictures in the entries, later tonight I will upload a few pictures of Amelia for you to enjoy from hubby's computer. :)

Now, here they are:

Praise in the Rain

I know a couple of people going through tough times right now.

It is never easy. We never look forward to those times. 

We pray for the Lord to free us from them! or even more so,  to never go through them!

Yet, the Lord allows awful circumstances to come our way. Why?! 

We specifically prayed for that not to happen. 

Well, the answer isn't always what we want it to be. But it is always good and perfect.

God is wiser than any of us...and more than all of us together. Like one my friends puts it: we only carry one piece of the puzzle with us. He sees it all put together!

One reason why God allows tough times in our lives is to make us stronger and more beautiful. 

Do you ever work out? How do you know your muscles are being benefited by your exercise? it BURNS!

Have you ever seen gold in its natural stage? it pretty much looks like any other ordinary rock. For it to shine and be as beautiful as we know it, it needs to be put through FIRE first. So yes, the process of getting stronger and refined will hurt. Not always, but more than often. 

Another reason, and I must confess I'm glad for this one, is to learn to praise Him always. This is a hard one. We all know that. Questions such as "Why?!" and "was this really necessary?!" fill our minds during hard times. The Lord knows our hearts and he will not let us endure what we do not have the strength for. 

Like the song we always pray for God to bring us joy, peace and the chance to be free. We pray for God to bring anything that will bring Him glory. I think we forget that the later isn't always something pleasant!! I cry my eyes out when I sing what follows: "and I know there'll be days when this life brings me pain, but if THAT'S what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain!" ~ makes for wonderful lyrics, but if we really think about it, we are asking for "bad" things to happen. Or at least we are saying "we are OK" with tough times to come our way. Easier said than done! 

I truly believe that THAT should be our hearts' attitude. Always. Whatever it takes to bring God glory! Even if it's pain. We'll take it. Not that we want to suffer, but we'll take that chance if that is what God will use to be glorified. 

One verse I always hold on to (well, I could quote the whole Bible for that matter!) is Psalm 27:13-14

"I am still confident of this: that I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."

The Lord has used this verse more than enough times to remind me of His unfailing promises! He is faithful and loves me. He loves you. Things are not always the way we want them to be. God's ways are different from ours. Yet, they are always perfect and good. His thoughts are always of good for those who love him. He is our hope. He is my hope. 

...Holy is the Lord, 

God Almighty,

The Earth is filled with His Glory...

Little Red Dress

I have become obsessed with Pinterest. HA!
I just love all the great ideas out there! There are some very talented people in this world and I am thankful to many of them for sharing their creativity with the world.

I found a tutorial for an old sweater turned into a dress, through Pinterest,  at this website by Ashley: www.makeit-loveit.com so yes, the credits for the idea goes to her! I believe she did an awesome job of explaining the how-to. Please visit her site! I'm sure she will appreciate it!

I mixed two of her tutorials (long and short sleeves) and came up with my project. It is a little dress for my baby girl, Amelia. Hopefully she will be big enough at Christmas time to wear it :)

I apologize I did not take all the pictures. I realized afterwards that I would want to blog about it. Hopefully these pictures (and your looking back at Ashley's blog) will be enough guidance. :)

so first, find an old sweater. Maybe at a thrift store, or an old one that you  already have. Then  maybe using  a dress that you already have, measure the size. I did not follow that advice and just guessed at the measurements. You can tell by the end result :P When cutting, always leave at least 1 to 3 inches for the seams. It is always better to have more and the cut back down than to cut it to short/tight.

On the original blog, she uses just the cuffs of the sleeves. I decided I wanted it to be long sleeves. So I used more fabric and just cut it a little so it would be kids size. Make sure the shoulder area is diagonal. Otherwise if it's too square it may look like a box. 

Sew it together...right sides facing each other.

Now, this part is better explained at Ashley's site. Basically, use some elastic (Or cut a string from an old t-shirt  like I did! it stretches a little) and folding the rim outward, towards the right side, sew the elastic in. It will give a ruffle effect to the neck. You can adjust the width of the opening. In my case, since I did not use elastic, I had to adjust it so that it would be open enough for her head, but narrow enough to cover her shoulders and be a modest dress for a 5 month old! :P Using elastic will give you more freedom and will look prettier, but I didn't have any handy, and was too inpatient to wait  to get one! I really wanted to make the dress. 

And....tadah! Amelia couldn't care less! haha

Like I said, the shape is not perfect, but I love it. It was made with love and hey! She will grow out of it before i know it, so why stress about it!! haha...

For the bow, use two strings of fabric: one of 7x3 and one of 3x1/2inch. Or whatever dimensions work best for you :)

Happy Sewing!!

Not My Words

Advice.
Many of us are more than ready to give it when somebody comes to us with some sort of need.
Whether they are asking for it or not. Instead of listening to them carefully, we are already thinking how WE are going to solve their problem and guide them through life.

Most of the time it is done with good intentions. We hate to see somebody suffer or be frustrated not knowing what to do. We want to help.
Then, what is the problem? WE.
Many times the word WE refer to good things such as team work, relationship, sharing, etc.
In this case it isn't precisely good. It refers to "I alone".

When somebody opens their soul to you and shares what is in their heart, you are stepping on holy ground.
They are uncovering themselves, being vulnerable. Acting by impulse can cause more hurt than healing. Being slow to speak isn't only wise, but also shows appreciation and respect for opening up their lives to you.
Our most common mistakes are: not listening to them wholeheartedly, and not listening to the One who can truly give perfect "advice". If we respond to other's needs out of our own thought process, without the Holy Spirit helping us, our words will be like a leaf in the fall. Pretty, but dead. Unable to hold on to the tree of life.
It is absolutely necessary and essential to listen to the person in need... and the person of the Holy Spirit to give you the words (if any is needed) to respond.

I must confess that many times I just jump in and start babbling. Yes, that is what it is when it is not guided by God. Then in the middle of my own show, I am reminded that it is not my words what this person needs. It is God's. He is the one who will cause the streams of living water to flow through me. (John 7:38-39). Yet, how will this happen if I don't first ask Him to?

"If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him" {or her!}James 1:5

I encourage you to ask the Holy Spirit to minister through you, to speak through you and love through you. To teach you and give you the words, if words are needed. Ask Him to shine through you and make you a channel of God's love, joy, comfort and peace so you can bless others. I encourage you to seek to be in God's presence always, so that it is HE who we see through you.

Lets make the word WE refer to God, in the person of the Holy Spirit, and you together in prayer.

Busy Being Available

Available: Present and ready for use; at hand, accessible. (freedictionary.com)

One of the phrases most of us hear/say at least once a day is: I don't have time.
Whether it is "I don't have time to make the bed", "I don't have time to make dessert" or even, "I don't have time to listen to another political ad". Whatever the reason, we always seem to run out of time for something.
We are so afraid of being tagged as lazy or unproductive that we fill our schedule to the 25th hour.

How does this affect our ministry? do we have time to sit down with a friend and chat...without looking at the clock? can we have two cups of tea instead of just one? or even more so, in the midst of your day, if someone calls expectantly, do you have a few minutes to spare in a conversation about nothing important?

I know, we all have things to do, projects to finish, kids to care for, husbands to attend to, we all have a life to live. But this life of ours has become a race instead of a walk. A competition instead of something to enjoy. We may get things done, but are we enjoying them? are we able to fully invest our lives in things that matter? or has our life become a check list where we check off what we got done, is if everything was as simple as grocery shopping?

Real meaningful relationships are not built with a check list lifestyle. All good things in life demand that we invest our time, sometimes our money, but more than anything: our lives. To drop what we are doing to help a neighbor move some boxes, to stop the movie to talk to our friend on the phone, etc. It all shows availability. Always ready "to be there" for others. At hand.

Real meaningful relationships are also built with initiative. Many a strong relationship is a two way road. However, not everyone is a social bug or ready to ask for help when needed. To be available is to be present, yet how will they know we are there if we don't let them know? With today's technology, there is no excuse. No time for a call? a simple text will do. Not a text-er? a one sentence letter, a call, a quick stop by, or even a prayer for them will do sometimes.

Jesus is the greatest example of availability and initiative. If we have a relationship with Him is because he came to us. He makes himself available to us every day. He made himself available to the cross!!
He is always ready to listen to us, to comfort us, to encourage us, to love us. He is never too busy for us.
Even though He is divine :

"Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness" {Phil. 2:6-7}

His availability didn't come with heavy feet and a frown. His love for us was the motivation. He joyfully makes himself available to us at all times. Even for our most insignificant need. His ears are always glad to hear our voice calling His name. Nothing is too insignificant or unimportant for Him. 

In the same way, we are called to care for others. For each other. Being available and taking initiative to show our availability witnesses of the love God has poured on in us. Our availability will open doors to new friendships, new opportunities to share the gospel with words or simply with our actions. Even to blessings in our lives. God calls us to always be ready and present, always available to do the works of His Kingdom. Are you ready  to answer to His call? Will you be available for others? ...or are you too busy?

Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying,
"Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?"
And I said, "Here am I. Send me!" {Isaiah 6:8}

F.

Baby Steps, Giant Steps.

Amelia is two months old (10 weeks to be exact).
Time truly flies! I feel like we have had her forever. I love it!
Motherhood is great! I love every minute of it...although it can get a little boring at times, specially for a stay at home mom like me. Yet, I enjoy every minute with my little girl.

God has been speaking to me in so many ways lately. And one of them is that every one o his children are different. I have learned that a "baby step" for one person may be a "giant step" for another, and vice versa. I bring this up because many women told me (and keep telling me!) that having a baby-tot-child in general, is so hard and time consuming. That my life will never be the same (as if that was something bad!), and that I will no longer be able to do the things I used to because I will live by baby's schedule.
Not true.
Not for me. At least not so far.


I appreciate every piece of advice (asked and not asked for!), as well as every warning of the complications of life that await me. I truly listen and store them in my heart for future reference, and to prepare my heart so I'm not taken by surprise. However, I see that this is just a "baby step" for me.

I'm not saying it is not easy. I do not mean it is not time consuming. I do not mean to take away from the hard work of mothers, or to diminish their efforts and time invested in their children. I am doing it too. In fact, that'll be my job for the rest of my life!
It IS time consuming, hard, and challenging. But I guess sometimes we tend to state things as facts that apply the same for everyone. Sometimes I feel like everyone makes things look/sound worse than they really are just so that everyone around them stands in awe and applauds them.
I keep hearing: "Oh, you just wait until she is born...Oh you just wait until she starts walking...Oh you just wait until you have another one running around...Oh you just wait for this or for that...Oh you just wait! It sounds like they want me be overwhelmed, stressed, tired, margin-less like they were. It makes me sad sometimes. Can't people just be happy for me and rejoice in the Lord for I am relaxed!

I know not everyone is like that though. Some people truly struggle. Some people mean well, they just don't know how to communicate it.Again, God created us all different, with different skills, personalities, etc. Not every jar of clay can contain the same amount of water. If you pour 2 gallons of water in a 1 gallon container, it will overflow. We all reach our limits at different points and that is just fine.

The same goes for me, when I criticize others, I must remind myself that God created us different. Some people reach their limits faster! Some work better under pressure, some can't work at all under the same amount of pressure. What is a giant step for me, may be a baby step for others.

I guess I should just say I praise God for making this step in my life easier than I thought (or was told) it would be.

For those who don't know, my life has changed (giant steps!) a ton in the last three years:

I left my family, friends, and everything I knew when I left my country and moved to the US. After 4 years of graduating from high school and already working, I went back to school...in a language that wasn't my native, in a system that I had never known. For the first time in my life (at 21 years old), I lived by myself (no parents!) and had to learn to drive. A year later, I got married. A year after moved again to a different city and, finally... had a child. I gotta say, I've had my share of giant steps for a while. Excuse me if I rather brag about a baby step! Finally!!
That is that I am taking this step without my family close by. My husbands side of the family are wonderful and I consider them very much my family - not only "in laws". But they live almost 2 hours away, have their own families and jobs...and to be honest, sometimes it is just not the same as having your own mom and sisters with you.  So please! rejoice in and praise the Lord with me on this!! For you it may have been (or is) the most overwhelming, time-consuming, challenging and hard thing to do to have a child (or more!), but please be glad that God is helping me have some margin so that having Amelia doesn't leave me exhausted.

Comments, questions, advice and constructive criticism are welcomed!

My reward from the Lord.

It's Monday, July 23rd. at 5am and I have started feeling some contractions. They are somewhere between 15 to 5 minutes apart. I can still talk, walk and pretty much do everything around the house. As the day goes by, Jon and I start getting anxious. The pain and intensity is a 4 out of 10. So we just wait.

Jon goes to work, I get the house ready in case we have to leave to the hospital.

It's 4pm of Monday 23rd, our cousins Bryan and Samantha arrive. She is my duola. We start talking about what to expect and the birth plan. {Birth plan was about being all natural, no drugs, no inductions  of any kind, including braking the water. Also leaving as soon as possible and keeping the baby with us at all times}

So the night came and we are still at home. Contractions are getting a little stronger (a 5 out of 10 maybe) and a little closer together. Approximately every 10 minutes.

It's Tuesday, July 24th at 5am again. Contractions are kicking in with a pain rate of 6 out of 10. They came anywhere from 10 to 5 minutes apart. We all are getting more and more excited. I try to keep moving, however at about 11am we realize that they are stronger when I am laying down. So I proceed to stay that way to get things going.

It is about noon of the 24th and we call the hospital to ask when it would be best for us to come. We are told that once contractions are 5 apart and I am unable to speak because of the pain. So we wait and withing an hour my contractions get between 5 to 3 minutes apart and I can hardly speak...but we wait an extra hour to be sure.

2pm of Tuesday the 24th and we head over the hospital with contractions every 3 minutes with a pain rate of 7 out of 10. To all this, it was back labor as opposed to front labor.

We get to the hospital around 2:30 and we get situated in the delivery room. The nurse comes to check on me and check how far along I am with dialation...

...to our dissapointment I am only 2cm dialated...
...They give us a couple of hours to see if I will progress.

It is around 6pm of the 24th and the Dr. on call, Dr. Chadd (they only have two doctors, so I new Him too) arrives and checks to see if I have progressed at all.

...Nothing...dissapointing. Now what?
The doctor gives the options: "we break your water and hope that speeds things up (although I know in your plan you said you did not want that), or you go home and wait some more. It's up to you."

"I have been having contractions for two days already, break my water -I don't want to go home, I want to meet my baby" So they do so around 6:30pm of the 24th.

Around 7 family starts arriving. Jon's parents and his sister and brother in law. I have my family on skype watching the whole process.

The night falls and everyone starts getting comfortable for a long night...but no baby yet. The nurses come and check me...I have only progressed to 4cm after four hours of increased contractions. They come every 2 minutes and the pain has gone up to an 8 out of 10.

It is the early morning of Wednesday, July 25th and everyone is falling asleep. Jon and I are awake dealing with pain and no dialating as I should. We go for a walk, I use the birth ball, my duola encourages me and guides me through contractions to continue breathing deep. It is for sure the longest night of my life.
The pain is now a 10 out of 10 with back labor and contractions every 2 minutes.

It is around 6am of the 25th and my father in law has to go back to work.

My doctor comes in around 7 and I am only 6cm dialated. We start talking about our options since I am having a "dry labor" and I am not progressing as desired. The main thing we want to avoid is a C-section. So baby needs to be out before we reach the 24th hour after breaking the water. My options are to continue all natural, walking, using the birthball and waiting - with increased risk of C-section as time goes by. Or I could get pitocin and get things going without epidural, but with a lot more pain, or finally, get both pictocin and epidural and forget about going all natural but getting the baby out on time and get this over with.

Jon and I decided we would wait a few more hours and see if I can get things going on my own. By this time, I have not slept at all in more than 24 hours being in active labor, with, towards the early morning, pain of 11 out of 10.

It is around 10am, my contractions are slowing down, getting farther apart and my sister in law and her husband need to head out. She works at 1pm and they need to drive for almost 2 hours.

My doctor comes in around 11 and we talked about our options again. Same thing, pitocin (and epidural if I want it). At this point I can hardly talk, I am too tired and while talking, contractions kick in again for a little bit. We are approaching critical hours, and the night before while in the tub, some meconium had shown in the water. Also the doctor had found out the baby was facing up and was not coming out and we would need to use either a vacuum or the forceps. That is why I am not dialating as expected. Baby is not putting any pressure on my cervix. The head is not in the right position. Despite all the efforts to help baby change positions on its own, nothing is going as desired.

Now it is not about playing "strong woman" or "mama natural". It is about what is best for both my baby and I. So my amazing husband encourages me to take the pitocin. The doctor offered to start with 1mlg of pitocin alone (2milg is the usually the minimun amount they give) and see if I can get it going on my own with that. So we go ahead with that and wait an hour.

It is 11 am and nothing yet. But Oh boy! that 1milg really has made a difference in pain!! it is a 12 out of 10 now!

So Jon and I talk about our options again. My wonderful husband is very loving and encouraging. He tells me "noone will think any less of you for getting the drugs. You are very strong and have gone over 30 hours of natural labor. Now you need to be able to rest to get this baby out. I love you" Or something among those lines :) So I decide to get it all.

It is around noon and our cousins (my duola) have to leave. They live in St. Louis and have to work the next day. AND NO BABY YET! :( and I am only 7cm along. VERY dissapointing for the amount of pain I am feeling. However, pitocin is in now and the nurse anesthetist is coming. I wish he was coming faster though! that pitocin really kicks in quickly!! I don't know if I can take it any longer. It really hurts and contractions are back every 1 to 2 minutes with a pain 15 out of 10! maybe less than that, but I am just too tired :P

So 12:30 is the magic time. The epidural is in and I don't feel a thing. It is as if I had not been in labor at all. I can finally laugh, talk, eat and sleep! and so can my poor husband!

I take a 3 to 4 hour nap. When I wake up my nurse comes in and we are finally at 10cm!!!! woo hoo! So pushing time arrives around 5pm. My mother in law is recording and taking pictures. My mom, siblings and rest of the family is watching everything through skype. They make fun of me because I am not screaming or complaning (in Peru is not usual to use epidurals unless it is a C-section). So My nurse, Jon and I play a joke on them. She brings a baby doll and we pretend that I am finally giving birth. My family bought it! they thought my screams were real and that the doll was the real baby! :P. Sounds mean, but they deserved it for bugging me about not showing pain! after that, they were only expectators and encouragers! :)

Anyways, it if around 7 my doc comes in and starts setting things  up for us. I had already been pushing for two hours. He usually only allows two hours of pushing before going C-section, but he knew we did not want that and allowed me to go for an extra hour. Forceps in place, baby's heart rate looks great, mommy's looks fine. Lets get the baby out! and PUSH!!! PUSH!! PUSH!! Oh my! it is time!! ...head is out!! surprise! surprise! cord is around baby's neck, not once but twice!! Praise the Lord that baby was in a bad position and not coming out on its own, otherwise the tention would have cause distress and led to a sectioning, risking my baby's life. Baby was in the birth canal only for a few minutes (if that!) thanks to the use of forceps and the decisions made by all of us, including the doctor.

A few seconds later (8:15pm) baby is all out and is a SHE!! Oh my heart is filled with joy and I am just bawling!! God new our hearts' desire and gave us a little girl! We could't be happier!

Amazingly enough, as soon as I saw her, I forgot all about the pain. I am ready to have more of these wonderful little people!! She was SO worth it!! all the 9months of my body changing, uncomfortable nights of sleep, painful labor, and even now that she is almost a month old, all the sleepless nights and the recovery process. It is all worth it!! Every time I look at her, I am reminded of God's love and favor! She is truly a reward from the Lord. One I do not deserve, but gladly accept!!

Amelia Marie Slezak

a week old.

Very strong at 2 weeks!!

She loves daddy!

 And mommy is happy to say that she has already lost 30lbs!! 15 more to go but it's looking good!!!! :)
Thanks to everyone who prayed for us!! we really felt the prayers!! :D