Thursday, September 29, 2011

First Round of Tests.

So this past week was Jon's first round of tests. Two on Monday and two on Wednesday.
Before that, I thought he was already studying a lot and I saw him very little.
Well, I was wrong. The week before his tests, I only saw him at dinner time (two hours at the most)
and when we were going to bed (probably an hour before we both fell asleep!).
During the exams week was the same.

Man! and the first year is supposed to be easy! ha! Anyways, it was intense and not being able to work, just imagine how bored I was at times. I would read, go grocery shopping, go to the library, watch some TV, clean the house, go to Bible study, make dinner, and still have way too much time in my hands to spare. Not that it is much different when Jon is home, but at least when he is I have somebody to talk to...or pick up after! lol.

Although his last test was yesterday, he is still studying. That is OK, I know that's what he needs to do in order to succeed in med-school. I am so proud of my husband. He works hard. I am also glad that God has been teaching me to be a better wife.

It isn't easy, in fact, when I think I've got the hang of it, I hit a wall and start being disrespectful towards Jon again. Not by yelling or embarrassing him in front of other. I simply do it with my attitudes. Sometimes I want to punch him! yell at him and tell him all that he is doing wrong. But God in his grace reminds me of His love for me. God reminds me that I am worst than Jon. I do the same exact things to my creator. I bet the Lord many times just wants to yell at me and embarrass me in front of the whole world! But He doesn't. He loves me and forgives me...in fact He even blesses me!

God also reminds me of what He create me for: To be Jon's help meet. Honestly women, we have the toughest job of all. I seriously disagree with you if you think God and the Bible refer to women as inferior or of less worth or less capable! Our job is what keeps this world rolling! the results of our being or not being supportive of our husbands and raising our children or leaving the home will be seen in the next generation. God created us to be that suitable helper our husbands need. It is such a privilege! and such a blessing and joy when we truly live up the role God gave us.

Honestly, I used to be against all that submission and respect and the women be quiet, etc etc etc. But I realize now how many women fight and fight for their "rights" and to be treated as equal as men. They won't respect their husbands, they will look negatively upon men in authority, etc. In exchange of what? to prove something God never denied? that women are as capable, worthy, smart and loved as men are? To prove that they can? OK. Well, prove it. Then what? you are still empty, you are still stressed out, you are not beautiful anymore to men because of your attitudes, you are just a bossy woman who no one can stand. Even more so, you are going against God's heavenly plans for you.

The main reason why I want to submit to my husband and respect him and have him as the head leader of our home is not because I don't think I can do it myself. It is not because I think he is a great husband. It is not because Jon deserves it. I respect my husband and do what the Bible tells me to do because that is what God's heart wants for and from me. I do it because I want to please my God, Lord and Savior. God accepted me just the way I am. Jesus died crucified and humiliated for me. That was my place on the cross. I was supposed to be the one beaten and nailed to a piece of wood. However, God's mercy and grace go beyond our understanding. He loved me (and you) first. He forgives me (and you) over and over and over again. He wants nothing but the best for me...and for you. He did all of that for you and me. Why wouldn't I out of love to my Savior, out of gratefulness to Jesus obey his command of submission and respect to my husband?  I don't care what the world tells me, I don't care if they think being meek and quiet before my husband is a weakness. I know it is not. I only care about what Christ thinks of me. As long as I rejoice in obeying my God, I know I will find true meaning, true worth, true beauty, in Jesus.

I challenge you to think about this and examine your life. Are you worried about pleasing yourself? others? or He who gave his life for you?

With love,
FS.

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